I'm back!!!

Been fed up the past few weeks and I suppose I've been letting things bother me too much. I hate that I am so unconfident and I get nervous about any little thing. I've had these weird symptoms in my lower abdomen including very hot skin - I went to the doctor and as usual (it seems) she was puzzled. She "guessed" at a urinary infection despite nothing being wrong with my water! I was prescribed anti-biotics which unsurprisingly didn't work. I still have the symptons, albeit not quite as bad as before. Just the thought of going to the docs again is getting me all worked up. Seems I've been n and out of there what with my back problems as well. I've been worrying about other situations as well, including my cat. I'm getting annoyed with my vets practice as they keep wanting blood tests and keep changing the dosage of tablets she is taking but all I want to do is have the thyroid taken out. It gives me the impression they are taking me for a ride to get more money out of me. I hate confrontation, and I've already had arguments with the receptionist there and again, I get all worked up thinking about having to speak to the vet. It's so silly I know. I wish I was like my partner John as nothing phases him.
I've also got to go to Dartford to have a medical assessment on 16th March - thankfully John has agreed to drive me there, otherwise I'd be fretting about that too. Then there's returning to work which after 4 months is a bit daunting, with the added worry that my back problems will reoccur as badly as before.

I woke up yesterday morning determined to be positive - it really helped that it was bright sunny day and I decided to get out of the house and go for a walk. Despite being bracingly cold in spots, I had a good walk around Gunners Park and felt better for it. I think being in the house day after day after day is doing me no good at all and I will try and motivate myself to get out every day, even if it's only for half an hour. Today I drove down to Shoebury East Beach and took my camera. I love photography and I enjoyed wandering around taking pictures of boats sitting on the mud; with the sunlight trying to peep through the clouds, the sheen across the mud was a pleasant sight. I'll go and load the pics onto the computer once I've finished here.
I am also determined that each day I give myself a variety of things to do. Too many times I end up plonked in the armchair in a veggie state watching the telly or using my laptop. I'm looking forward to Sunday coz I'm going to the footie and will meet up with my friend Debs. Right now, I'm off to re-pot a plant and then have a session on the treadmill.